I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
