Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
