She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
