yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
