Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
