Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
