My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
