Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The adults are the big ones right?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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