absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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