How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
