Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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