Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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