you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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