Just cropdusted the office
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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