No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
