walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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