I can tuck mytits in my pants
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
