Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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