i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
