Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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