its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
