What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
