it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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