I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
