You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
