how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
