Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
