please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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