We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i now understand why vodka
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
