i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Randomize
