All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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