Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
