my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
