Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Come share oat with me in your robe
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
