there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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