I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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