I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
that's an acceptable place to lick
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
