How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
