You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
