thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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