final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
