I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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