with your own penis?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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