she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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