I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
