Is it normal to miss your booty call?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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