it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
