Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
