when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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