she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
